A little event
made me upset today. It should not have if I was dependent on God alone, but as
a weak Christian when another Christian and preacher accused me of distorting
the history of a certain event that I had published a few days ago, I immediately
went on the defensive. I had always thought that he wanted to be at the centre
in anything we do. However, he proved to me that he attributed to others the
good things that he brought in. In both attitudes mine and his, I find
egocentric tendencies which I attribute to Original Sin. First, he is guilty of
reacting so aggressively and threatening me without thinking when I called him. Under any circumstances, if he thought that I
was guilty he should have given me the opportunity to explain my position. In
Christian tradition, a Christian should first examine his conscience and his
motivations and take time in silent prayer before accusing his brother. Second, I am guilty of the act itself to which
he was referring as a distortion of history. In all honesty, I wanted me to be
in charge and, while focusing on what I do, I did not imagine that he, out of
all men, would feel wounded. I still
have hidden feelings of revenge!
Egoism is at the
heart of my thought here and I believe that all of us humans are still under
the powerful temptation of sin except for the very few saints living and dead. I
want me and my family and my church and my reputation and my country and my health
and my wealth and my pleasure to be for me because they are my extension. I
want my self-expansion and at least that history would recognize me and my
contribution!
Who does not want
to be eternal? Is not this why the ancients wanted to have male offspring? Is not this why barren women were considered
a shame in ancient and, to-date, in most Eastern cultures? Is not this why
Egyptian ancient kings built the Pyramids and why today we build skyscrapers?
Is not that why most humans attempt to survive by adapting to the wishes of the
powerful in this world including those who serve others?
Who does not
want to be loved? Who does not want to be appreciated regardless of his own
malicious words and acts? And when he is loved, does not he want to still be
loved by everyone and admired by everyone? It is in the heart of every heart
that still lives with some wishful thinking that the earthly things can satisfy
him. This is why to answer the first
question “Who does not want to be eternal?” we need to answer the second
question “Who does not want to be loved?” To live eternally in happiness I must
love but to love I must be loved by the One who can powerfully hold me
eternally in himself. This is the truth
from the Resurrection of Christ which Ratzinger ably explained in his book “Introduction
to Christianity.” See it here at:http://www.ignatiusinsight.com/features2007/ratzinger_resurrectionitc_mar07.asp
From a logical
perspective it makes sense that the vast majority of those who die in the grace
of God will have to be purified before they can experience God’s glorious love in
heaven. In Eastern Christian tradition, God is present everywhere, including heaven
and hell. The Devil who hates God experiences his huge loss in hell and this is
why he suffers most. The angels who love God experience their utter joy in
heaven and this is why they enjoy love. But I have another explanation of heaven and
hell and purgatory which is subject to approval by ecclesial authorities. Hell
is a state of total self-closed beings – Each of them hates everyone else and
hates God who still loves everyone including the lost. Heaven is a state of utter
openness to love and communion. The joy of being in heaven is that of
self-giving which starts here on earth because God himself is self-giving of
love or self-giving of Father to Son and Son to Father eternally by the power
of the Holy Spirit who unites them. Purgatory is a state of temporary suffering
for anyone who is longing and willing to give himself in love, and yet has not
reached his potential of perfect love for the sake of love i.e. for the sake of
God in whom Man can be eternally saved and find his resurrection.
I wish I can
express my feeling of utter helplessness alone but at the same time I hope that
God and people I know will forgive me and forgive my fellow Christian preacher and
that each of us will forgive each other; for I think God uses our finite
weakness to still get us closer to him and to each other which is the communion
of the Church.
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