Today's Wisdom

Those who do not pass from the experience of the cross to the truth of the resurrection condemn themselves to despair! For we cannot encounter God without first crucifying our narrow notions of a god who reflects only our own understanding of omnipotence and power
Pope Francis

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Marriage Today


At Jesus the King Church, this past Friday I led a discussion with more than 30 adults both young and older about love of couples and marriage today. The discussion was inspired by an interview/Web-chat on TVO’s The Agenda which can be seen here:

I wish to thank all participants who provided insights into their own experience on this morally important topic. We started the session with a reading from Genesis 2: 18-24 that reminded us of the reason a woman fulfills man’s desire for joy and life, and he too is her joy; for the woman complements man; their love to each other in marriage transcends the ups and downs of emotions and commits them together for a lifetime.That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body. (Gen. 2: 24). We also ended the session with a hymn sung by Ivan and played by Sonia.

The Discussion

It is impossible to summarise every thought. I will give below some examples.

A bright single young man revealed how women, both single and married, chase him in the office through suggestive text messages in order to kiss him or make love with him. He explained that this kind of temptation is available in North America and Europe, and, we are sure, in the Middle East too. TV and the Internet are used to promote individual instant pleasure in some of their channels. Schools are sometimes too liberal for Christians. In a way, this reflects a trend in Western society where observance of strict sexual moral values has declined since the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

When asked what criteria she has in mind for selecting a suitable partner for life, a single young woman said she looks for a smart and caring man who is well cultured and probably of the same culture. Did a prospective spouse have to be rich? Most single persons said ”no.” I asked individuals of a group of recently married couples “What was the most important characteristic that made you choose your spouse?” One said “Her balanced personality” but did not deny that she looked pretty to him. A female spouse said “What matters is love and harmony. We help each other as much as we can” Other married couples echoed the importance of the good/wise personality.

When I asked a married lady whether she would leave her husband if she found her soul mate, her answer was no. Yet, without suspecting any lady or man in the meeting, I am aware of cases where the husband cheated on his wife and left her with their kids to live with another woman.  The negative impact of separation of spouses on children is enormous, said a married lady echoing recent studies that show how children of divorced parents become more prone to mistrust the other and divorce their spouses.

Older people in the meeting gave advice to the younger ones. One lady said her children introduced to her the girls they were planning to marry because in marriage a harmony between the families of both sides helps marriage. In the expensive life we live, both husband and wife usually have to work until retirement. During their work hours, they entrust their little kids to the grandparents where they are nourished and taught the basic Christian behaviour and manners.

As a husband for 30 years I spoke about my own experience. It is true that my wife and I have made sacrifices, for example not having a car for the first 9 years in Toronto, yet were able to give our kids the best education in moral and academic excellence in spite of my health condition. My wife has always supported me in the good and hard times and in all times when I was hospitalized.  What happened with us is in my opinion a blessing from God. As in any marriage, ups and downs in emotions are a fact of life but what matters is commitment and faithfulness beyond solely emotional or sensual attractions. To my young ones I say love is larger than infatuation although it may start with it. Marriage is for life! I will have to write more about it in another time.

Near the end, I asked Fr. Youhanna Hanna to give us a word since he is also a parent. It is amazing how the Lord called him to be father of a family and also of the community. Fr. Youhanna spoke about his experience and God in the middle of the love experience. After all, it is true love that comes from God that really matters. I will have to ask him to send a little word of what he said.

1 comment:

  1. A married couple who are married for 13 years participated in the discussion. When the wife was asked how she feels about her faithful husband, she said jokingly "He is not bad!"

    George Farahat

    ReplyDelete

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