The Family - Part 2 - Marriage

In the animal kingdom, the family is the result of mating between males and females of the same species. Humans are "developed animals." In the very beginning of human history, the male mated with the female (Adam and Eve) and the result was a number of children. To survive, the male hunted for the prey to eat with his woman and children while the woman took care of raising their kids. Where there was fertile land for agriculture, human tribes settled. This is the example of the ancient Egyptian civilization around the Nile. In other areas where there was rain, tribes settled too. Mesopotamian civilization, for example, was built around the idea of conquering tribes in the fertile lands of Syria and Palestine. The role of man in the family developed so that he became a farmer rather than a hunter. Women were considered objects that belonged to their men in the same way as cattles belonged to men. Boys were considered a blessing because the more boys a man had the more helpers to him they would be. Boys would become men that defend the tribe and extend the family in the next generations thus making man eternal. Women of conquered tribes were often raped and taken slaves by the conquerors. So much was the dignity of women thrown away that a man could take many wives just to bear him children and care for them. This is a very sketchy picture but the idea still remains true in underdeveloped cultures today. In traditional Islamic Sharia for instance, a man can take up to four wives at the same time. This is the case in many Islamic cultures to-date. Moreover, a man in Islamic cultures can divorce his wife and marry another one. Jewish tradition too tells us in the Bible that many Jewish men married more than one woman from Abraham himself on to his offspring. Solomon is known to have had many wives under the influence of pagan cultures surrounding Israel. Divorce was allowed in the Mosaic Law down to the time of Christ 1200 years later. This is natural since a man can impregnate hundreds of women in one year but a woman can be impregnated by only one man in the same period. However, only Christ reinstated marriage to its original form: One woman for one man exclusively. A man may not divorce his wife neither can a wife divorce her husband. Their marriage is permanent till death separates them. For 20 centuries the Catholic Church has enshrined this moral doctrine in its Canon Laws. In 16th century England, Sir Thomas More, now a saint, paid the ultimate price for he refused to acknowledge King Henry VIII's remarriage and was therefore taken to martyrdom - A man for all seasons. But let's take a deeper look: What is the purpose of marriage? The Ecumenical Second Vatican Council declared that marriage between a man and a woman is for more than mere reproduction. It is a participation in the procreative act of God who wills that humans be conceived and born into life. The act of sexual intercourse that brings about human life is sacred - It must be open to life (as Pope Paul VI states in Humanae Vitae). It is also an act constituted in love which is the supreme gift of God. No human power can make divorce valid for the supreme gift of God cannot be revoked. This is why, now we understand, "a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife." Why is divorce considered evil? Because in marriage both husband and wife commit themselves to each other in good times and bad, in health and illness and in joy and sorrow. Infidelity is a great evil but is forgiven by the spouse against whom it was committed. While divorce is not an option for Catholics who commit to remain in the Church, secular societies have legalized it since the 1970s. But recent studies show the negative effect of divorce on families particularly on their children. They point to children of divorce that fail in their future marriages significantly more than the children of committed marriage. Divorced people tend to have weaker second marriage if they are remarried. In the eyes of the Gospel and the Church remarriage is invalid if the spouse of the valid marriage is still alive. The Church understands the weakness of the human nature. If spouses are unable to continue living together, they are allowed to be separated but they are not allowed to remarry in the Church. To strengthen the life of married couples Marriage Encounter is a week-end program dedicated to bringing together married couples in order to renew their love and communication. Marriage is not a simple contract. Pre-nuptial agreements that are popular in North America today assume that marriage is a legal contract that will not last. For this reason, the spouses agree before marriage as to the individual rights of each of them for his/her own assets if/when their marriage is over. What is missing in these arrangements is trust of each in the fidelity of the other. The Sacramant of Matrimony is blessed by Christ as a sign of love. In the wedding ceremony/Mass, the bridegroom and bride are each asked by the priest to declare his/her own willingness to spend the rest of life with the other in good times and bad, in good health and illness, and in joyful times and sorrowful times. They are partners for life. In rare cases the Church may consider a marriage to be invalid and therefore annulled only if there is enough evidence of certain conditions before marriage including psychological/physical/health inaptitude in one of the two partners or if one of them was married in distress. To investigate such a case the Church tribunal for marriages carries out lengthy investigations. The open character of the Catholic Church is evident in her treatment of on-Catholic marriages. In the eyes of the Catholic Church every first marriage in any religious/cultural context is considered valid although it lacks the sacramental grace of Christ. Thus the marriage of a Catholic who marries a divorced Muslim is invalid. Moreover marriage is about raising new generations in the grace of God. This is why in "mixed marriages" the Catholic partner promises to raise the children in the Catholic moral education. The same partner also promises to try to persuade the non-Catholic partner to become Catholic. It is important that the family be of the same religion and faith, pray together, and resolve any serious problems immediately by councelling the spiritual guide or parish priest. Marriage reflects the Holy Trinity. How? Marriage cannot be broken because it is in the image of the holy Trinity. Marriage unites two in one love body and soul and its fruit is love. This reflects, to our limited understanding the love of the Father to his only begotten Son. The Son returns the Father's love with love. The power that unites the Father and the Son is also Love - It is the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit gives life here on earth and in eternity.

The Family - Part 1

The human family is at the centre of all cultures since the beginning of the homosapien species. This is a natural development of creation. In the animal kingdom the family starts with mating between the male and female. Humans are “developed animals” with a mind and a will. In that sense they are created in the image of God. In ancient texts, the Bible recounts the first family in Genesis with the relationship of Adam and Eve (male and female). “Adam knew Eve” (according to Genesis) did not mean that he knew her name or something about her. The language indicates experience of the other person in a deep relationship. Adam experienced Eve as no one else did emotionally, physically, spiritually and existentially. From their love relationship sprang their children. The children of humans have physical and genetic resemblance to other animals (they share 98% of the DNA with chimpanzees) but they are different in other significant ways. Babies of humans are totally dependent on their parents for survival for many years. Although the human baby comes out from his mother’s womb with a large brain, he cannot walk for at least 6 months. However while other animal babies can walk earlier and climb trees fast, only human babies learn to behave differently with time. This is the result of a different larynx that allows humans to speak and develop their language thus they communicate easier and faster. Moreover humans have the most complex brain in the universe containing 100 billion cells in each child’s brain. You can see that humans are highly complex with minds that not only can think but also can will to do things as they choose. Because humans as young as a few months old can choose, they can say yes or no to their parents. They can also choose to accept or reject to love their siblings (brothers, sisters). This is probably what Augustine called Original Sin. It is that I want myself: my growth: my life even if it is at the cost of killing others. My parents are as important to me as much as I need them. I love them because they loved me first. My siblings are only important if I can get them to do things for me. However I love them too as they resemble in traits much of what my parents had. Cultures developed around the concept of me, my family, and my tribe. The more the tribe grew together the more it became stronger. This is called collaboration. The individual belonged to the family and the family to the tribe (society) and the tribe was headed by the chief or elder of the tribe. Thus civilizations came as a development of tribal interactions, trade, and collaboration. But the fact that collaboration and organization make sense allows humans to learn together and from each other. Schools and universities are only one phenomenon of human learning. This learning starts in the family at a very young age. When children are ready to develop their writing, their parents send them to school. And schools used to be built by churches in the Western world and part of the Middle East until the contemporary secular state took over much of what the Church built. It is a fact that the Church built the first schools and the first universities in Europe and learned from other philosophies particularly Greek. Today then we need to learn from the Church. This is the foundation of the moral law that we as parents transmit to our children. Then we need to send our children to good Catholic/Christian schools where they learn more about their faith. Then we need to encourage our children to come to Church from their early young age using the reward system. This way they will grow up in Church.

A life that appears to have been a failure!

His entire life was in giving. His healings meant to cure people of afflictions. Although he was accused by teachers of the Law that he healed by the power of Satan, his healing drove out demons and brought peace to the healed ones. His teaching was summed up in loving the enemy and praying for the offenders. Yet his life ended on a cross where he died between two thieves. His own disciples left him except for his mother and a few followers. All the crowds who shouted for him as their king cursed him a few days later on the way to the cross. And despite this he forgave them all. If he did not claim to be the Son of God he probably would not have been condemned. How could he be silent when he was to witness to the truth? Suffering to death on a cross was the most horrible way to die invented by the Romans. A life that appears to have been a failure in all human measures. Nevertheless his crown was a glorious Resurrection and Ascension that over centuries brought kings and multitudes to him. Now we know that the Crucified One who failed in the eyes of Man is the One who made his coward disciples conquer the world in his name. Glory be to Jesus the King!

Today's Question: Peace between Palestinians and Israelis

For both Israelis and Palestinians to find a just solution, they must start with good will towards each other. That was Sadat's achievement. He went all the way to the Knesset in Israel in spite of huge opposition in the Arab world. Egypt was expelled from The Arab League. Yet he persevered. Menahem Begin, while considered criminal by many non-Jews, took the opportunity to negotiate an agreement with Egypt. It takes two to tango... Today, thirty one years after the Egyptian-Israeli Agreement, the hawks of Israel and Palestine must first stop violence against each other. This takes courage as there are other players in the Middle East who would benefit from extending the conflict's atmosphere. Fundamentalists on both sides must learn to forgive the past and attempt a reconciliation. This is not easy at all especially for people who were driven out of their land and still suffer in camps. Peace has a cost. Life has a cost. But hope is the only way to go. It may take years to achieve a permanent solution. Perseverance in the hope that those estranged cousins will be able to recognize each other's right to life is the beginning of peace.

Jospeh Jules Zerey on Faith

It is my prayer that we as a Christian community whether in Toronto or in Jerusalem be converted and live our faith according to the Lord's commandment of love. He loved his disciples who betrayed him. He forgave his enemies who crucified him. "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be children of your heavenly Father" (Matthew 5: 44-45). It is only through love that we can be his disciples. The place where I live is not far from the mountain on which Christ shone in transfiguration and gave us a foretaste of his glory. This transfiguration awoke the three apostles and after his Resurrection they became a powerful testimony to his awakening from the dead. Must we not today awaken again from our slumber? We need to to have a room for God in our everyday life - contemplate his beauty in his creatures, and reflect on his love that was fulfilled in the incarnation, death and resurrection of his only begotten Son. In Jerusalem, our patriarchate offers a home to the visitors who come to pray and seek the Lord. We have a few schools to teach children according to the faith, but half of my students do not have the money to pay their tuition fees. We do not press them. They receive education so that they be good Christians. We have a couple of houses run by the Sisters of Charity and the Little Sisters of Jesus. Their vocation is to serve the poor of the poor, the dying and foresaken children, and the old and broken hearts. None of these services discriminates between Muslims, Christians and Jews, for all humans are children of God. In the Catholic Church of the Holy Land, a conference of bishops maintains monthly dialogue between the episcopate of each of the Eastern Catholic Churches and the Roman Catholic Patrairchate. We coordinate the efforts together to build a Catholic presence that serves the rest of people. We also maintain a convergent dialogue with our brothers in Christ: Orthodox, Anglican and Protestant. We pray together for the day when we all become one in Christ. In the interfaith dialogue with our Muslim and Jewish brothers, we are in good contact with their authorities. We respect our elder brothers the Jews from whom Christ, his mother and the Apostles came. With our Muslim brothers, we share much such as belief in one God, prayer, and fasting. For example, a day before my travel, I received an invitation for a Ramadan Breakfast with the Palestinian Authority to which I had to delegate a representative from the Melkite Catholic Church. In spite of all the sufferings we work with all parties in the conflict of Palestine to establish peace in hearts and to break the violent reactions between parties who seek to overthrow each other. Everything starts in the heart. This is why peace is possible only when people accept to live together and forgive each other. What can you in Toronto do to help us in Palestine? I am not asking for money but only for your own hearts to be in solidarity with us and the millions who seek peace. Our tradition is full of reminders to grow in wisdom and spiritual life. This raises questions to you: Answer in your hearts 1) When was the last time you fasted? 2) When was the last time you prayed from your heart? 3) When was the last time you received the sacrament of confession (reconciliation)? Remember that your children will imitate you as you imitated your parents. Even if it is hard economically for many, we should not run after the mighty dollar for it is written "You worship either God or money but not both." I will continue to be a voice for peace and love - the love that Christ alone brings to you. This is the faith of the Church that I meant to tell you about. Archbishop Joseph Jules Zerey is Patriarchal Vicar of Jerusalem for the Greek Melkite Catholic Church. The above was paraphrased from a lecture he gave at Jesus the King Church on Friday August 27, 2010